What have I learned in college?
Let’s see…
I have learned how to drink 15 beers without throwing up or blacking out.
I have subsequently learned how to lay in the bathroom until 9 pm the next night, because I had forgotten that even 1 beer will rape the shit out of me, come morning.
I have learned that I never, ever want to live with my husband. And if I could magically change my sexual preference, I would, but I do not think I could give my heart to a girl.
However, I have learned in college that sexuality may be more than black and white. There may be a continuum involved, one that I certainly do not fall to the far right of, the far left of, or exactly in the middle for that matter. I just can’t help but notice if a girl has a nice rack.
I have learned that living with boys makes you start saying things like “I can’t help but notice if a girl has a nice rack”
In college I have learned not to trust everyone who looks super, super, nice. This is usually the person who can be a super, super, bitch.
In college I have learned how to gain 50 pounds.
However, I have not learned how to get them to go away .
I’ve learned that life isn’t fair
I’ve learned that a fair professor is a mystical creature, so if you find one sign up for every one of his or her classes
In college I’ve learned that I will not be prepared for a job in my field.
I barely learned how to apply to the masters program who will never take me because I don’t know anything about psychology. Sure, I know Freud, Erikson, and the rest of the psychologists whose theories have been disproven.
I’ve learned about them in every class.
I have not, however, learned many theories and findings that have been empirically validated.
So basically, I know nothing about what I need to know.
That’s what Grad School’s for, right?
Right?
Umm… so why am I $60,000 in debt?
And why haven’t I learned anything else here?
