via Family Meals, Adequate Sleep And Limited TV May Lower Childhood Obesity.

Thank you, OSU, for using tons of money to research what WE ALL ALREADY KNOW.

As the future of psychology, I would like to take the time to mention how stupid it is that we hire researchers, instead of teachers, so that they can come up with brilliant findings that everyone else has already found, and force the actual teaching on graduate students.  How much do I have to pay to have someone that ISNT only one year ahead of me to teach me?

Seriously, my dad kills me.  Watch as he creates a new animal (ok, the cartoon was first) and the most out of tune song ever performed.  And then watch as he laughs until he is  red in the face.

And the best part is?

My mom made me put the bleeps in after discovering it was on youtube… because we are a “good christian family!” (imagine a high, squeaky, Kitty Foreman-esque voice here)

hahahhaha The verdict is still out on whether or not this is funny to anyone besides my roommates, myself and my siblings, and anybody else that actually knows my dad.  Def.  worth sharing, though!

Now, I’m not sure that I can top “Moo-ilicious”.  However, I was inspired tonight by Asher Roth’s “I love college”, while driving home to my parents’ to spend the weekend.  I am itching to get back on the horse (insert amish horse-and-buggy jokes here, here, and here. Ok, and for those of you who have seen it, maybe I should say “get back on the trampoline).

So, the question is- could a 21 year old white girl’s parody song/video of “I Love College” be funny?  Would you guys watch it?

Currently, I am looking over at my sweet little puppy sleeping soundly, and am oh-so-jealous. I have some accomplished, not enough, and not even touched the homework that is due at 11:59 (technically due two days ago at 11:59 pm, but god bless the prof. who gives a two day grace period).  However, I am hoping to sleep for 6 or so hours, before finishing my room, making the hour and a half journey home, and most likely beginning my psych homework at 10:00 pm.  You know, enough time so I MIGHT get it done.  Gotta ensure I am as stressed as humanely possible, right?

Today it was 9:40.  Class had been going on for 10 minutes already, and their was no way to make the half hour journey to Scott lab in time for it to be worth it.  This has been going on since I decided that I actually want to go to class.  See, I only have three classes, and only two require leaving my house.  It may sound like I’m a slacker (which I’m not trying to refute), but at Ohio State three classes is full time, and four is generally the maximum you can take.  Thank you, quarter system!

I’m not quite sure what to do.  This is the second time this week alone that I have missed my sole class of the day because I had no conscious clue that my alarm was going off.  Obviously, I am hearing them in my sleep or else whatever tune I set on my ipod would still be playing when I actually did wake up, and the silly voices followed by volatile shaking that my “wacky wake up” alarm clock provides would still be shouting “wake up! wake up!”, when I did glance at the clock at 9:40 am.  I am definitely turning these things off.  Damn it!

I tried that crazy alarm clock that comes with two separate components: one that you lay under your mattress and pillow it and it shakes the shit out of your bed, and the actual alarm part of the clock which offers THE LOUDEST AND MOST ANNOYING BEEPS IN THE WORLD.  This clock broke after about two weeks, and I do not have the heart to buy a new one- it was a freaking 50 dollar investment!

However, this may be my only choice.

I will fail out of college if this keeps happening.

With that said, I am off to try to figure out exactly how I am going to learn all of this synaptic plasticity shit that I missed this morning.  And two days ago.  And twice last week.

Thank God I dropped Spanish!

Let’s see…

I have learned how to drink 15 beers without throwing up or blacking out.

I have subsequently learned how to lay in the bathroom until 9 pm the next night, because I had forgotten that even 1 beer will rape the shit out of me, come morning.

I have learned that I never, ever want to live with my husband.  And if I could magically change my sexual preference, I would, but I do not think I could give my heart to a girl.

However, I have learned in college that sexuality may be more than black and white.  There may be a continuum involved, one that I certainly do not fall to the far right of, the far left of, or exactly in the middle for that matter.  I just can’t help but notice if a girl has a nice rack.

I have learned that living with boys makes you start saying things like “I can’t help but notice if a girl has a nice rack”

In college I have learned not to trust everyone who looks super, super, nice.  This is usually the person who can be a super, super, bitch.

In college I have learned how to gain 50 pounds.

However, I have not learned how to get them to go away .

I’ve learned that life isn’t fair

I’ve learned that a fair professor is a mystical creature, so if you find one sign up for every one of his or her classes

In college I’ve learned that I will not be prepared for a job in my field.

I barely learned how to apply to the masters program  who will never take me because I don’t know anything about psychology.  Sure, I know Freud, Erikson, and the rest of the psychologists whose theories have been disproven.  

I’ve learned about them in every class.

I have not, however, learned many theories and findings that have been empirically validated.

So basically, I know nothing about what I need to know.

That’s what Grad School’s for, right?

Right?

Umm… so why am I $60,000 in debt?

And why haven’t I learned anything else here?